You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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