Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize