she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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