Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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