Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize