I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
