when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
