And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
