Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I want her autograph on my taint
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize