I need to stop coming to work sober
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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