Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
