oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
