I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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