I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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