I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
