Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
