First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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