Swine flu. Run for my life!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She's just so happy...and so naked.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
