So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize