The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Rumble strips road head = magical
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
