I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
