the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
vagina is talking i cant
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
3pm strippers are depressing
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
