It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
