Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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