She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
