Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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