The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
