i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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