What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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