So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im drinking this country out of the recession.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
