Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
