Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
