You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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