Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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