my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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