hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
