My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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