I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
His hands were made for my vagina.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
