Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
