I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
