There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize