But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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