you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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