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everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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