would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
