We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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