Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm too high and old for this...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize