That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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