so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
