I bet he comes in French.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
