I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
