So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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