I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
