and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
