My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
