Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
