How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
