You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
