Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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