I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This baby is an asshole
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
