Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
