Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
